This Is where I keep the things I find funny

The year is 1901. The nation of Spile has been formed in what was Germany, and They plan on taking over Europe with any means possible. They have a powerful army of 10,000 men, and they have the best german beer to have graced this green earth. They plan on taking Luxembourg by force, and their army waits patiently for the order to attack by their lord king captain. The lord king captain gives the order to advance, and they push forward ready to give their lives for their country.

Their first target is a small village on the outskirts of Luxembourg city. This village consists of roughly 100 people who are forced to move out due to them building a new factory there. They carry on marching towards their goal until they come across an obstacle that their army has not seen before. A large group of soldiers from luxembourg standing strong against the enemy, all armed with weapons made by the luxembourger arms company. The lord king captain orders his forces to charge forward at the enemy, but there is no hope for them as the Luxembourgers quickly take down half the army. The rest of the troops retreat back to the main camp. Captain von der Schulze and his men are then ordered to rebuild their ranks after seeing how easily the Luxembourgers took them out.

After that horrid defeat from the Luxembourgers, the Spilen people realize that to win, they need a new technology. So they ask their best Spilen scientists to work on a new kind of warfare: Gunpowder. Gunpowder is far superior to the inferior sword and shield, so it will prove useful to the recently defeated army. So the scientists get to work, eager to succeed. After 3 months, the Spilen scientists created a new weapon that they call the "Panzer ''. It is a tank that uses gunpowder to propel itself forward.

The Scientists, proud of their work, eagerly await Captain von der Schulze's next order. although he has none to give. for the lord king captain is getting his finest beer ready to negotiate with switzerland's leader about an alliance. He loudly proclaims, "Here me President of the Swiss! we must join forces if we are to stay afloat in this world! Luxembourg has a powerful army, and if we don't work together, we will both fall to the crushing weight of their army! Also, we have beer!"

This is really funny trust me

The President of Switzerland is not amused by the offer. for he knows full well that the luxembourg army would crush him if they were to meet in battle. Also, he does not like the idea of being surrounded by other countries. But he says nothing as he drinks his beer. Soon, he is drunk, and falls asleep. And when he wakes up, he doesn't remember anything that happened the night before. so he agrees to the alliance.

Now, with the Spile army fully rebuilt and with their panzer 1 tanks, they prepare to take Luxembourg again. Captain von der schulze takes the forefront as he gives his men a speech about their might and how powerful they have become. The soldiers hop in their panzer tanks and rush forward into Luxembourg, ready to die for their country.

And they do just that. For the luxembourgers see the tanks coming towards them, and they quickly get out of the way. The Spile tanks run over the Luxembourgers effortlessly, destroying every man they find. But when they reach their destination, they stop. Because there is nothing left that can be destroyed. They sit and wait for the luxembourgers to come out, but they don't. Days pass by, but still no luxembourgers show themselves.

Captain Von der Schulze laughs, as he realizes that since there is no more people left in Luxembourg, then they have won. The army cheers and spends the next few nights drinking their best german beer. Now the Lord King Captain prepares to make another alliance. He sees that France is quite powerful, and if they were to make an alliance that the Spile nation would grow ever stronger. so he brings his finest german beer and negotiates with the President of France. He says, "We have claimed Luxembourg and Switzerland as part of our Spile nation, so I ask that you do the same. Not only will the finest beer be allowed in your country, we have the panzer tanks that would easily crush any enemies you could have. " The President of France is glad to hear this, as he loves good beer, and he agrees to the deal.

But once the deal is completed, the President of France gets to thinking. He remembers everything that happened the last time he drank the German beer.

But after that perfect success, The Spile people hear of a new nation that has been formed in Iceland, Ireland, and The United Kingdom. It calls itself Deshmo, and plans to also take over europe with its pirate boats that can only be in the water. They hate Spile, and want to thwart it in any way shape and form. As soon as the Lord King Captain hears about this, He orders Captain Von der Schulze to get the scientists to work. Captain Von der schulze orders the scientists to work on a new weapon. They ask, "What kind?" and he tells them, "Just come up with something." So they get to work.

Days pass by, and still the scientists have not found anything. so the Lord King Captain comes to ask, "Have you found anything yet?" and the scientist asks, "How should i know? You tell me. " The Lord King Captain is angered, and decides to give the scientists a punishment. He orders them to go to the outskirts of spile, and build a bridge from one side of the river to the other. The scientists agree, and start working on it. It takes them 2 months to finish the bridge. And when they are done, they stand back and admire their work.

A few days later, the pirates come. Their ships are loaded with weapons. They plan on crossing the bridge that the scientists built. The Lord King Captain immediately sends out his panzer tanks. But they cannot cross the bridge because it is too small. the pirates get out of their boat and walk onto the bridge. The Lord King Captain is furious. "You idiots! Why did you not think of this before?" the scientist replies, "Because we thought you would have known how to build a bridge." The Lord King Captain is enraged. "I will kill you all!" and the scientists are afraid for their lives.

So, the Lord King Captain orders the scientists to create a new weapon. They say, "Well, why dont we make a ship that can cross the river?" So the scientists start making plans to build such a ship. But they seem to keep failing, and after 6 months, the scientists finally come up with a design. They call it the "Titanic".

The Titanic is a massive ship that can hold a massive amount of panzer tanks and soldiers. And so, Captain Von der schulze and the army sails to the united kingdom to conquer it. After a week, they reach the united kingdom and march on land to fight to their deaths. The united kingdom is a hardy nation, having survived many battles in the past. They quickly take down the Spile army. But the Lord King Captain survives, and he kills the united kingdom's leader. He takes control of the united kingdom, and starts giving orders. The united kingdom is now Spile's newest ally.

Now, there has been talk of fighting between the united kingdom and Spille. The united kingdom leader believes that Spile is planning to invade the united kingdom. but the Lord King Captain tells him to calm his nerves. He says, "Spile is merely expanding, so we must help them.

After that narrow victory, The lord king captain puts Captain Schulze as lead of the united kingdom for the moment, and returns home to celebrate the victory. of course, not without a funeral for the fallen soldiers that were lost during the battle for the united kingdom. the Lord King captain eventually gets over his hangover from all the beer that was dranken, and gets back to work. He decides that poland is the next target, but he knows that his army needs to rubuild. so he visits the president of poland and offers the finest german beer and free usage of their ship, "The Titanic", as long as they dont need it for warfare. the President of Poland enjoys the fine beer, and he agrees to the deal.

But while the Lord King Captain is away, the scientists have finally created a new weapon that they had been working on. They call it, "Nuclear bombs". The scientists have tested it out on a few cities nearby, and it works perfectly. So the Lord king captain orders the scientists to make more nuke bombs.

The Lord King Captain is very pleased with this news, and asks that the scientists make something else, something new again. he does have an idea in mind, and as he said it "I would like a biologically engineered soldier that is perfect in every way." and so, the scientists get to work once more, happy thay they get to help their country again.

Days pass by, and the scientists finish creating the perfect soldier. They name it "Von der Schulze" after their lord king captain. The Lord King Captain is ecstatic, and he tests it out on the polandian leader. Von der Schulze tears through the polish army and kills the leader. The Lord king captain is so impressed that he asks that the scientists make another one. The scientists happily comply, and they give the new soldier the name "Werner".

But while this was happening, Deshmo was working in the shadows, quickly taking portugal and spain when Spile wasnt looking. they also have Irish beer to combat Spiles German beer, obviously showing how spitful they are. They are going to attempt to take france from Spile, but both of Spiles super soldiers, Von der schulze and Werner are already there, waiting for a fight. both carry a nuclear bomb ready to throw at the Deshmo army. They have never seen a nuke bomb before, but they know how dangerous they are. Von der schulze throws his first, and it goes off in the distance, causing the water around it to turn red.

Deshmo is shaken, but they try to move on anyway. Von der schulze follows his nuke bomb and throws his second, which explodes right where the other one went off. This causes the water near it to bubble and boil. The deshimos are frightened, but they manage to survive. They retreat into their ship, and flee. But Spile has caught on to what they were doing, and knows that they are trying to do the same thing they did with luxembourg.

After that victory and also turning the water red, the two super soldiers, Von der shulze and Werner, rush into spain, ready to conquer it. they both have another, smaller nuclear bomb in hand, ready to throw and destroy. But one of the Spanish soldiers, who happens to be a great archer named Jose, shoots Werner down. He then throws his bomb, which turns the area around it red. And the spanish army is so scared that they surrender.


With another victory at their feet, but a loss with the injury of Werner, The Lord King Captain asks of the scientists to make more super soldiers. "I ask that you maybe toughen their skin to handle projectiles, other than that they are perfect." and so, the scientists get to work again, still just as happy.

But the Lord King Captain isnt done yet. There is a nation called Sweden that has been eyeing Spile for some time. He asks the scientist to create a new weapon for their army. They call it the "Deutsch Bomb" and it is a massive bomb with a German flag painted on it. When Von der schulze and Werner set their eyes on Sweden, they march straight towards them. They enter the capital and go to the president, who is quite surprised. He asks them what they want, and Von der schulze says, "To join our empire." the president is shocked, and asks them to leave, but Von der schulze says, "No, we will stay until you accept our offer."

The President is frightened, and he asks the scientists to make a weapon that will scare Von der schulze and Werner away. So they do, and they call it "The Deutsch Bomb". But while they are preparing to throw it, Von der schulze and Werner come running back. They see the scientists with their bombs, and they say, "Hey, nice bomb! Where did you get it?!" The scientists are startled, and they reply, "From the united kingdom, as a gift to you." Von der schulze is curious, and he asks, "Why?" The scientists look at each other, and one of them says, "I dont know, its just that we made it." Von der schulze is confused, and he asks, "How did you make such a bomb? How did you make it so big and heavy?" The scientists, ashamed, try to explain themselves. "We used a rocket launcher..." and Von der schulze interrupts them saying, "How many rockets did it take to make this bomb?" The scientists are silent, and they say, "Only 1." Von der schulze is astonished and asks, "How?" The scientists are silent again, and they say, "We made it out of a boat." Von der schulze is curious, and he asks, "What kind of boat?" The scientists respond, "A nuclear submarine." Von der schulze is shocked, and he asks, "Did you use a real nuke?" The scientists answer, "Yes, we did." Von der schulze is amazed, and he thinks to himself, "They can make bombs out of boats now?! They have improved!" Von der schulze says, "Let us test it out on the boat." Von der schulze throws his bomb and blows up the boat. The scientists are horrified, and they say, "Please dont hurt us!" Von der schulze says, "No worries, we will just blow up your whole city." The scientists are terrified, and they run away. Von der schulze follows them, and they drop their bombs. The bombs explode and the ground starts to shake. Von der schulze is satisfied, and he leaves, knowing that he has won.

Lord king Cpatain is quite pleased with this outcome. He then orders Super soldiers Werner and Von der schulze to go take ireland with the army and the panzer tanks. they head there and are ready to fight. But as they begin to attack, they hear a voice coming from far away, "No, stop! I am a good person!" Both super soldiers are shocked, and they turn around to see a man with a crown on his head. "I am the king of ireland! Please do not attack!" the soldiers are flustered, and they stop. "I'm sorry, Your highness. We meant no harm." the king says, "Its ok. You are a very strong soldier, and you are a good person. Stay here, and we will not attack." Von der schulze is surprised, and he says, "Your Highness, we are going to fight anyway.